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What is Love? (or the Man from Tennessee)


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Dear Friends and Lovers everywhere,

I had a delightful conversation with these two good people from Tennessee a few summers ago while I was living in St. Augustine.  They were sitting on the curb behind the Village Inn Restaurant.  The conversation began with a polite reprimand to the dude for throwing a cigarette butt on the ground. (Actually, I don’t think you call a young man from Tennessee a dude, do you?)  I care for the planet that supports my every step and I try my best to show respect and reverence to her and gently persuade others to do the same.

As a writer, I am interested in people’s stories.  And the conversation became quite up close and personal quite quickly.  They told me a bit of each of their stories.  About their work and school and families.  The young lady was still in high school.  They were thinking about getting married.  I was quite impressed with these young folks.  Salt of the earth folks. 

Valentine’s Day is tomorrow.  So, what is LOVE?  I’m interweaving two threads into today’s blog –  the themes What is Love? and What is Life? The two provide the tapestry of a life well-lived.  If we seek life and love every day – if we choose to turn away from hateful words and thoughts and the cruel deeds that spouses and jilted lovers throw at each other in cruel text messaging, we will find both.  Love and Life.

There’s all kinds of love, you know.  There’s romance that is the kind that pervades the soaps, People and InTouch magazines.  There’s erotic love.  There’s brotherly (or sisterly) love, the love of friends, neighborly love.  And there’s sacrificial love. That’s the kind that Jesus has for us and those who serve others. There’s conditional and unconditional love.  There’s love that isn’t love at all.  

Remember Erich Fromm whom I referenced his little book The Art of Loving last week? Here are a couple of quotes of his that you might find interesting . . . .

Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’                                                                                          Mature love says ‘I need you because I love you.’

In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two.

Only the person who has faith in himself is able to be faithful to others.

And so, I offer you a practical suggestion so that make your own meaning.

At day’s end, reflect on the positive things — even the tiny little things in a chaotic, insane day.  Where was the LOVE?  Where was the LIFE?  

Take a moment.  Reflect on your day.  Pick two incidents, however fleeting, however small that you might have missed at the time.  Savor them for a moment as you get ready for bed. 

Those are the moments in which God is speaking to you!  

Be ready to receive into your life and your heart the little moments of LIFE and LOVE that do happen even in on the craziest or most depressing day. 

It is not the destination that is important; life and love happen on the way!

And . . . God bless you, my two young friends from Tennessee. It was an honor and a joy to talk with you.   Maybe you’re married now ~ to each other or to somebody else.  But I hope you finished high school.  Have a wonderful life — both of you and each of you. 

Before you go , if you’ve got a ramblin’ boy in your life or in your soul,  here’s Dave Loggin’s famous song about the Man from Tennessee  ~“Please Come to Boston”~ with beautiful images to carry your soul away, if just for a moment on love’s nostalgia and grace.  Have a great day!

With love,

Bob Traupman

contemplative writer

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