Month: February 2009

The Jesus I know and love

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Thursday after Ash Wednesday, February 26, 2009

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

I’m here, somewhere above the clouds headed for my own 2009 wilderness experience.  Isn’t the sight of the portside wing aglow in orange against a pink horizon and a deep blue sea just awesome!  This Continental flight is zigzagging me across the south to Houston, back to New Orleans, then by car to Lake Charles in western Louisiana.  I will be making an intensive seven-day retreat in the care of a good priest friend, Father Don Piraro, director of the Diocesan Spiritual Renewal Center there.   While I’m there I will listen to the sounds of the bayou that surround the center and hopefully hop into a canoe and fetch a gator to look in the eye.  Don and I went to the same seminary — Theological College of Catholic University in D.C. in the late 60’s.  Father Don and I have discerned that I seem to be impelled / beckoned / drawn there to begin the next phase of my writing.

Tomorrow we will reflect on the temptation scene in Mark’s gospel.  The writer of the shortest gospel says Jesus was “driven” by the Spirit into the wilderness to prepare for his mission.  I will begin shaping the story I’ve been wanting to tell, the story of nearly forty years of my priesthood as I experienced it through the lens of my bipolar illness which has brought me to the heights of heaven and the depths of hell.  I ask a remembrance in your prayer because this is “an acceptable time” for me as the liturgy said yesterday. I want the Holy Spirit to listen deeply.  And then respond richly with all the energy and creative talent God has given me.

Tomorrow we begin to reflect on Jesus’ forty-day retreat into the wilderness, (the Mass text for this coming Sunday) to prepare for his mission, but this morning I want to invite you to reflect on the important scriptures of today’s Mass.

In the first reading, Moses says:  “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse.  Choose life, then, that you and your descendents may live, by loving the Lord, your God, heeding his voice, and holding fast to him” (Deuteronomy 30:15-20).

Now here are my thoughts this morning.  (I invite you to make your own as well.)  And please note that these are written, literally in flight, so pardon any malapropisms or whatever. . .

We often here the word’s Choose Life as a Pro-Life message; that’s important.  But each of us are invited to choose life again and again, every day.  This Lent is an acceptable time to choose the life that affirms and nourishes us and extricate ourselves from the dysfunctional communication and game-playing within the walls of our own home that cauterize the souls of our spouses and our children. Choose Life this day in the way you speak to and about everyone you meet today.   Choice is an act of the will, the highest power of the human person.  Choose your words carefully. Preside over / take responsibility for what comes out of your mouth; realize your words create life or death.

In today’s gospel, Jesus says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself? (Luke 9: 22-25)

My reflection: Jesus gives us a koan, a Zen word  that denotes a riddle that often takes a long time for us to get it.  Try to get into it this Lent. Ponder its meaning for you right now. Repeat it often until you get it.

It’s so counter-cultural.  In our society people do everything to avoid the smallest bit of pain. They even have numbing pads so that you don’t feel your Accu-check stick.  And we avoid emotional pain by not thinking through our problems. We might be tempted to do this by running.  A quicky divorce or a cruel text message to dump a girl friend who no longer suits you.

The Cross of Jesus is all about commitment. Lent places before us the Cross of Jesus and his loving embrace of it. He willingly stretched out his arms to be nailed. Jesus knew he would have to face immense suffering on his journey.  He knew  he would make people angry by telling the truth he saw in his heart.  He knew that it would lead him to death every step of the way up to Jerusalem. The issue is  Acceptance of whatever life calls you to. Jesus  accepted the Cross because he chose to be faithful to his mission:

In today’s gospel, Jesus says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must take up his cross daily and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it. What profit is there for one to gain the whole world yet lose or forfeit himself?  (Luke 9: 22-25)

My reflection: Jesus gives us a koan, a Zen word  that denotes a riddle that often takes a long time for us to get it.  Try to get into it this Lent. Ponder its meaning for you right now. Repeat it often until you get it.

It’s so counter-cultural.  In our society people do everything to avoid the smallest bit of pain. They even have numbing pads so that you don’t feel your Accu-check stick.  And we avoid emotional pain by not thinking through our problems. We might be tempted to do this by running.  A quickie divorce or a cruel text message to dump a girl friend who no longer suits you.

The Cross of Jesus is all about commitment. Lent places before us the Cross of Jesus and his loving embrace of it. He willingly stretched out his arms to be nailed. Jesus knew he would have to face immense suffering on his journey.  He knew  he would make people angry by telling the truth he saw in his heart.  He knew that it would lead him to death every step of the way up to Jerusalem. The issue is  Acceptance.  He  accepted the Cross because he chose to be faithful to his mission: to speak the truth that God loves every person no matter what.

Jesus did a brand new thing.  His message was that his Father-God embraces every person without exception.  His message was that He, Jesus, transcended the Law; that the only law was to love.  This went against the grain of those who saw him as a threat to all they knew.

In the desert, Jesus made a firm commitment to BE the truth that he saw in his heart no matter what.  Jesus embodied that highest moral standard: to commit his life to justice and love, no matter what it cost him.  His mission was very simple:   Stay on message, no matter what.    He was a person of absolute integrity.  No one was going to dissuade him from being who he was.

Very sadly, many in the church say that they believe in Jesus but are quick to condemn, quick to hate.  If you are one who has been condemned by the church or treated hatefully, I,  for one, ask forgiveness from you for I know Jesus would never want that for you.  And I ask for forgiveness and change of heart for those who do the condemning and the hating.

Finally, I  would like to be in solidarity with so many of us these days have crosses to face that are profoundly difficult. Let us help each other to bear the cross we must carry.  But remember, the key is acceptance.  Acceptance, the willingness to be nailed is the secret to your recovery.

This is the Jesus I know and love:  The one who has the strength to love, no matter what. He’s my hero.  I would like very much to be like that.  How ’bout you?

Now I have arrived in the Big Easy and before I head west on I-10 to the bayou country I’m going to have a bowl of gumbo.  11:55  AM CST.  See you tomorrow — God-willing and the swamp don’t rise.

Bob Traupman

priest / writer

Change for the better

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mission of nombre de dios / st. augustine, florida / (c) 2006 bob traupman.  all rights reserved.

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

It’s 6 AM here in Fort Lauderdale on this Ash Wednesday morning.  It’s still dark. Shivvy, my 11 year old Chesapeake Bay Retriever devoted companion is still asleep.  This is the time of day I love the most. Reflecting.  Praying. Studying.  Allowing my soul to float out and embrace those I am thinking about and praying for this morning.  The only sound is the white noise of Shivvy’s fan. I hate white noise.  The silence “sends me” as we used to say in the 70’s.  Silence is the language God speaks.

And I’m thinking of you, my readers, and what I want to say about Lent.  This is an important time for us Catholics because it’s a time of grace, an opportunity for us to CHANGE what’s necessary in ourselves to live a better life.

Learning how to reflect. For me, reflection is being aware, being conscious of what is happening inside of me and around me is the key to life.  The other day I said I think many of us let life happen without directing it, without asking the question WHAT DOES MY LIFE MEAN? What is its purpose?  Is it just a series of unrelated happenings?

Eckart Tolle in his best seller The New Earth last spring observes that being conscious is the most important dimension of life.  Not what we do or what we achieve.

Lent is a time to reflect on the meaning of our life.  To realize that we have an opportunity to make our own meaning.

The key to that is reflection. Look at yourself, look at your day to day life in a mirror.  What do you see?  What do  you like? What needs changing?

Lent is a time to do a little soul improvement. I get irritated with Catholics who think that Lent is about giving up candy.  Yeah, self-discipline is important.  We’ll get to that when we go visit Jesus in his wilderness-experience.

We’ve got to go deeper.

Last night President Obama called us to that.  He has called us to CHANGE.  That’s always what life is about.  You rock buffs correct me but I think it was Arlo Guthrie who said, “He who isn’t busy being born is busy dying.”

The President called us to rebirth America.   And we have to rebirth our Church too.  We are very stuck in the church as well. Another word for change is conversion. Conversion is a process by which we root out of ourselves old behavior patterns that don’t work anymore.

That requires self-discipline, which is traditionally a part of the Lenten process.  More tomorrow on the need for self-discipline.

The greatest sin of Americans is complacency. On the list of the seven deadly sins, it’s sloth; i.e., laziness, spiritual laziness.  And the culprit is our pursuit of the good life.  Having the latest tech stuff to make life more entertaining or pleasurable.  We go shopping when we feel blue.  All the ads are saying, “You deserve this latest gidget;  you’ve got to have it.

But we pay a price for our consumer mentality. Consumerism — cajoling, prompting, deceiving people to buy stuff they don’t need is just plain wrong.  It is sinful.  It has nearly destroyed us as a nation.  We’ve got to root it out of our lives — individually and as a nation.  I suggest we look at this very carefully this Lent. And it’s sinful for us to buy into that.

We’ve bought a big lie here in America:  Material things will make you happy.  You’ve got to have Calvin Klein underwear and Polo shirts and a bigger pool  than our neighbor’s.

The mega malls are temples to materialism.  But we don’t see this because we’re unaware.   Capitalism has become as atheistic as Communism.  And now we’re paying the price for our wanting more and more (read: GREED) and being satisfied with less and less.

It makes us stuck in a pile of debris of our own making behind a log jam in the river of our life.  So stuckness is the sin we need to look at in these times here in America.

Our life is supposed to keep flowing because consciousness keeps flowing.  Each moment should be new.  Each bend of the river should find us in a quiet wood or hurtling toward some rapids.  Yes, sin is being stuck and not even realizing we’re stuck.  That’s what addiction is: Being stuck in destructive behaviors.  So ask yourself this Ash Wednesday:  In what areas of my life am I not growing?  Where am I stuck?

The President audaciously called us to hope last night.  I was amazed at his ability to inspire and to call us to be our best selves.

But we have to be willing to enter a process of transformation — each of us — for our country to be transformed.

We have to be willing to face up to what’s wrong with us first.  What’s wrong with us is our focus on things. We have to change our ways and our economy so that we’re not consuming more and more stuff but instead serving more and more people.

So, let me make a suggestion for our Lenten reflection each evening.  Today was I more focused on people and how I can hel them be better persons or power or possessions and how to can manipulate and control people.

Mr. Obama called us to that.  He is re-directing our economy toward renewable energy, health care and education.

He is calling us to rebirth America.

This Lent, let us be willing to reflect on our lives so that we can change what is necessary that we get flowing again.

God of our understanding,

we come to you acknowledging that we stray from our true path,

we use people for our own purposes rather than encourage them,

we are rushing around so madly that we don’t stop and think: What’s it all about?

Grant us the grace to walk this Lenten journey of reflection and renewal

so that we are open to the grace you will give us to get unstuck

and enjoy the green pastures and refreshing waters along our life’s journey s you provide them.

Bob Traupman

priest / writer

Tomorrow:  The Jesus I know and love.

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust

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Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.

But what’s this Ashes thing”

We Catholics like symbols.  (So does Harry Potter.)

What do ashes mean?

What can they tell us about life? And death?  And reality?

When the priest smears ashes on the forehead he says one of two poignant phrases:

REMEMBER, HUMAN, THAT YOU ARE DUST AND UNTO DUST YOU SHALL RETURN,

So are we just dust?  Have we made an ash-heap of our life?

Are we sitting in an ash-heap?

Is there nothing but ruin, smoldering embers around us?

If so, do we despair?

Or can we dream of re-building?

Lent is a time of hope when our life goes awry.

It’s a time to TURN AROUND when we realize we’ve reached a dead end.

That’s what the word conversion means.  To simply do a U-turn.

Turn around and head in a different direction.

Get going again.   But CHANGE, so you don’t

keep on doing the same old thing and expecting different results.

I have a bone to pick with Catholics who show up on Ash Wednesday at get a smudge of ashes on their forehead without the slightest intention of doing what they symbolize:  CHANGE.

I invite you to go deeper into the practice of your religion.  LIVE IT!

Let transform you from inside out.

Our economy is sitting in ashes right now.

Consumerism and greed have caused this.

And we’re all consuming much to much and many of us are greedy.

We’re all experiencing the effects of this. We’re afraid and worried.

The question is:  Do we have the COURAGE TO CHANGE?

So, let’s do Lent well — together.

Tomorrow be ready to walk with him to Jerusalem

and find out who this Jesus is for you.

And what wisdom he has to offer us that will help us to change.

Whether you are  Catholic or not, perhaps you will find some wisdom,

some meaning for your life here.  Join us as we walk the journey together

as Jesus did — through suffering to death to new and risen life.



Carnival

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Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Well, this week the Big Easy and Rio have one thing in common — one huge party.  And what is so interesting its very Catholic.  It’s a time to let your hair down before the strike of midnight on Ash Wednesday when in the old church they were to be  when Catholics abstained from meat during  the six week lenten season.

The root of the word “CARnival is the same as the word “inCARnation”  the enflesh-ment of the son of God.  So we celebrate “Flesh” on the day before Lent. So let your hair down a bit and have fun.  And then on Wednesday, let’s be ready for a new series of this blog:  The Jesus I know and love.

Now here’s a bit of carnival or Mardi Gras history for you.  A carnival is a celebration combining parades, pageantry, folk drama, and feasting that is usually held in Catholic countries during the weeks before Lent. The term Carnival probably comes from the Latin word “carnelevarium”, meaning to remove meat. Typically the Carnival season begins early in the new year, often on the Epiphany, January 6, and ends in Februrary on fat Tuesday (hence Mardi Gras in French). Probably originating in pagan spring fertility rites, the first recorded carnival was the Egyptian feast of Osiris, an event marking the receding of the Nile’s flood water. Carnivals reached a peak of riotous dissipation with the Roman BACCHANALIA and Saturnalia. In the Middle Ages, when the Catholic Church tried to suppress all pagan ideas, it failed when it came to this celebration. The Church incorporated the rite into its own calendar as a period of thanksgiving. Popes sometimes served as patrons. The nations of Europe, especially France, Spain, and Portugal, gave thanks by throwing parties, wearing masks, and dancing in the streets. All three colonizing powers carried the tradition with them to the New World, but in Brazil it landed with a difference. Not only did the Portuguese have a taste for abandoned merriment, (they brought the “entrudo”, a prank where merry-makers throw water, flour, face powder, and many other things at each other’s faces), but the Negro slaves also took to the celebration. They would smear their faces with flour, borrow an old wig or frayed shirt of the master, and give themselves over to mad revelry for the three days. Many masters even let their slaves roam freely during the celebration. Since the slaves were grateful for the chance to enjoy themselves, they rarely used the occasion as a chance to run away. Pre-Christian, medieval, and modern carnivals share important thematic features. They celebrate the death of winter and the rebirth of nature, ultimately recommitting the individual to the spiritual and social codes of the culture. Ancient fertility rites, with their sacrifices to the gods, exemplify this commitment, as do the Christian Shrovetide plays. On the other hand, carnivals allow parody of, and offer temporary release from, social and religious constraints. For example, slaves were the equals of their masters during the Roman Saturnalia; the medieval feast of fools included a blasphemous mass; and during carnival masquerades sexual and social taboos are sometimes temporarily suspended.

Tomorrow: Why Ashes on Ash Wednesday?

May I suggest that  by Wednesday morning to try  be ready to enter into a deeper journey into your inner depths to discover our Lord and at the same time your deepest Self.  My longer Arise reflection Lent 2009: Be in solidarity with those who are suffering http://www.spirit7.commight give you  an over-all picture of how you might make this season holy — and spiritually fruitful for you, prune some of the dead stuff from your soul and be ready to experience new life, new growth for your self — and for our country.

Dear Lord,

Today we let our hair down a bit.

But let us be ready to enter the desert on Wednesday with you and discover how desert experiences can cleanse and purify us and make us whole.

Our country is in a desert experience right now.

Give us the wisdom to let us transform us, cleanse of us of all that is not right or just.

Let us enter the desert willingly instead of kicking and screaming or fearful.

We ask you, Lord, to lead the way.

Amen.


Love transforms us

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Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Well, Valentine’s Day is over, but I have one more reflection in this series “What is Love?

My last post was entitled “Jilted love.”  I think that many of young folks in our society have not experienced the love that transforms, even from their own parents or their spouses.  As a consequence, and very sadly, so many do not know how to love in a way that transforms because so many of us are more interested in getting love than giving it.  So, let’s think about that for a moment.

Who are the people in your life who were able to recognize the YOU inside you?  Who knew who you were behind the mask you present to the world each day?

Who are the people who recognized your gifts and called them forth from deep within you?  Who drew forth the goodness in you when perhaps all you were presenting to the world was not very good at all?

That’s love that transforms! That heals.  That gets us going again.  That moves us down the road a bit.

At this moment I will name one such man who has had an enormous influence on my life.  He is Father Eugene Walsh.  We used to call him Gino. He was the rector of my seminary in the year I was preparing for ordination.  I was fortunate to get on his short list for him to be my spiritual director.  He had a way of listening deeply below the level of my words.

I remember one night in his study.  We were sitting across from each  other in two easy chairs.  I was always intrigued that the wall behind us was bright orange with some sort of large modern painting on it.

Of a sudden, he got up from his chair and hugged me and whispered in my ear one word:  Bob. I His voice found me some place deep within and called me forth.

I can still hear him saying that right now.  At that moment, his deep, resonating love transformed me.  Affirmed me, confirmed me.  (I’ll start writing very soon about my priesthood and my bipolar journey and I will tell the story of this wonderful man and the many others who influenced and shaped my life over the years; there are many and I am grateful to each and every one.)
More than any other person than Jesus, I have tried to be like him.  He was so human.  He taught me how to be a human being, above all.  A simple, decent, human being.  And to be human, most of all, is to be capable of loving and receiving love.  And that’s what I’ve always taught:  Sin is the refusal of love, the refusal to love, as well as the refusal to grow and the refusal to give thanks.

So ask yourself:  who are the persons who really knew who you were deep within. accepted you and called you forth to be the best person you could be?
Why don’t you choose that as the point of your reflection through the day — while you’re driving, sitting on the — , doing the dishes.  Give thanks for them.  And maybe give them a call.  Not an email; a phone call.

And finally, I want to honor the two-love birds in the picture above.  They are John and Betsy Walders of Sebastian, Florida.  They will be married sixty years this week (February 19, 2009) and are as much in love as the day they met as teens.  In their eighties they were serendipitying around the country, quite oblivious to the fact that they weren’t teenagers anymore!  The joy and memory of all those years sustains Betsy as she witnesses her beloved withdraw into Alzheimers.

Good and gracious God,
You are the One most of all who has loved me into wholeness,
who is calling me forth to be the best person I can be,
calling me not so much to want to be loved as to love.
I thank you for sending people in my life who even for a brief moment
have touched me deep within and helped to transform me.
Help me always to be a person who is capable of transforming love.
With love,
Bob Traupman
priest /writer

Jilted lovers

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mesa verde national park of southern colorado / march 2008 (c) bob traupman. all rights reserved.

Dear Sisters and Brothers,

This blog is particularly addressed to my young readers.

Our society finds it quite acceptable for people to hop into one relationship after another or just satisfy their needs by”hooking up”.

How many times have you thought that this was the person of your dreams and been dumped by a rude text message — or done the dumping yourself?

How many marriages have ended when one spouse shows up in kitchen and announces, “I want a divorce!”  No discussion.  No attempt to work out problems.  No mercy.  No forgiveness.   It’s over.  Done.

And what happens is that we may add one unsuccessful relationship on top of another.  As a result, our heart can become more and more wounded. And less and less trusting, less and less capable of loving . . . unless we somehow find a way to believe again, to hope again.

In my own life six  times in the last 18 months friends (of varying degrees of closeness) have cut off contact with me without any opportunity to try to understand what happened.

I certainly did get on those people’s nerves (in each case as a result of a flair-up of the internal pressure caused by my bipolar illness) but I am quite sure that if we would just sit down and talk things out and listen  to one another we could in each case quite easily smooth things out and even bring the relationship to a deeper level.

In fact, I have not given up on any of those relationships — each one which is important to me; they represent significant parts of my life.  So I hold them in my heart and am patient. I am a reconciler at heart.  I take my cue from my elder Jesus who has a passion for reconciliation.  I believe Jesus aches for every broken relationship.

I do not say that each of those  rifts in my life didn’t hurt.  Particular from friends of 38 years.  Being rejected hurts a helluva lot.  And it takes time to get over.  Some of us may never try again.
And for some of us, anger and rage and a desire for revenge may consume us.   We may have a desire to get even.  That kind of response to rejection only sullies the matter and makes our life miserable.  We’ve somehow got to stop the pattern of jumping into one unhappy relationship after another.
So, let’s take a deeper look at the truth and the transforming power of St. Paul’s words in I Cor. 13 we’re reflecting on in this series “What is Love?”
LOVE . . .
. .  is not rude,                                                                                                                                                                                                    it does not seek its own interests,                                                                                                                                                               it is not quick-tempered,                                                                                                                                                                               it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             believes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                  hopes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             endures all things.
Love never fails.

We just have to learn to love anyway. At least, that’s what St. Paul is getting at “Love does not brood over injuries.”

Yesterday I spoke of the Art of Loving, psychoanalyst Erich Fromm’s classic book written in 1956.  Consider his statement that will blow most of us out of the water: “Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person:  it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole, not toward one “object” of love.  If a person loves only one person and is indifferent to the rest of his fellow men, his love is not love but a symbiotic attachment (emphasis mine) or an enlarged egotism . . . If I truly love one person I love all persons, I love the world; I love life.  If I can say to somebody else, “I love you,” I must be able to say”I love in you everybody.   I love through you the world, I love in you also myself” — p. 39.)

This is, of course, the heart of Jesus’ message, but many, if not most of us who say we’re his followers still don’t get it.

But let us return to the theme of our brokenness.  As tech opportunities for “communication” proliferate the less we communicate.  We communicate more and more on a superficial level.  You can’t really know someone through texting or on Facebook or in an email.  A person can present a false persona. The only real way to communicate with someone is to be in their presence using all our senses.

We need to learn, once again how to come to true intimacy — the coming together of two or more persons who have the courage open themselves to the transformative power of love.

If you are one who seeks that, I’m with you.   That’s what all my writing is about.

My last blog of this series “What is Love?” will actually be published after Valentines’ Day because I am traveling to St. Pete Beach on the west coast of Florida which is my boyhood home, for the funeral of my sometimes beloved (and sometimes not-so-beloved) Irish pastor Monsignor Patrick Trainor who entered my life when I was ten years old and who had an enormous influence on me and against me — a polarity that was, after all, imenently  constructive.

The final blog of this series will turn this subject around to consider “The Transformative Power of Love.”  Then we will be on to preparing for Lent.

Good and gracious God,

we ask you to heal the hearts that are broken.

Help us to see even in the midst of our brokenness the depth of Your Love for us.

And may we see Your brokenness when we reject Your love.

We may feel we cannot take the risk to open our hearts once more.

Give us the courage and strength to stop destructive patterns that lead only to more pain.

Give us hope, Lord.

Instead of seeking to find our true love,

let us simply become persons who love —

. . . whomever we’re with,

. . . to grow in our capacity to love that we can hold the whole world in our embrace

as You do at every moment,

in every time and place.

To You, God of our understanding,

we give You praise, now and forever.

AMEN!

Now before we go, look at that tree weathering the mountaintop at 8000 feet.  It has been jilted by the weather.  But it still stands nobly and proudly — broken, gnarled and twisted — but a fine lesson to us of the meaning of life.

Bob Traupman

priest / writer

And here is the entire text of St. Paul’s Ode to Love (I Cor. 13) once again.   Savor each line and see how you measure up. . . .

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.                         And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;                                                                    if I have all faith so as to move mountains                                                                                                                                             but do not have love, I am nothing.                                                                                                                                                             If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast                                                                          but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous,                                                                                                                                     Love is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude,                                                                                                                                                                                                    it does not seek its own interests,                                                                                                                                                               it is not quick-tempered,                                                                                                                                                                               it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             believes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                  hopes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             endures all things.
Love never fails.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;                                                                                                                                               but the greatest of these is love.                                                                                                                                                                                         I Corinthians 13

Love is fidelity

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Flagler Beach sunrise (c) bob traupman.  all rights reserved.

We’ve been reflecting on St. Paul’s eloquent words about love from I Cor. 13.

Love is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it does not seek its own interests,                                                                                                                                                               it is not quick-tempered,                                                                                                                                                                               it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.

Romantic love wears off in a few months.  True love requires fidelity.  I often remember people I met briefly forty or fifty years ago and there is still a place in my heart for them, even those who were adversaries.  And when I think of them I  believe my prayer is able to touch them now, either living or dead and let them know I still love them.

We think we know all about love but Love is  an Art and a Discipline to be learned and acquired by trial and error.  As such, we have to learn how to love.  Or perhaps unlearn what we have learned in abusive homes and find people who can teach us well.  I am profoundly grateful for the people who allowed my soul to unfold and blossom because of their love.

When I taught high school seniors (38 years ago!) I had them read two books,  Erich Fromm’s Art of Loving and Victor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning. Both books still should be required reading by anyone who wants to become a whole and healed human person.

Many of us keep focusing on finding the right object of our love.  Fromm — and Jesus — tell us that being a person who is capable of loving the stranger in the checkout line at the 7-11 or your sibling whose guts you can’t stand is the way we will learn to love.

Love is being free to love the one you’re with so you can be with the one you love.

It is just not possible to love some and hate others.  St. John says, “Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer.”

Love is being able to see and respond to the loving energy of the universe and spread it around instead of trying to possess it for oneself.

Love is faithfully loving whomever God puts in our life at every turn of our life’s journey.

Good and gracious God,

We live in a world that gives us so few models of faithful love.

Help us to learn the art and discipline of loving.

Help us to understand that we cannot love one person — even ourselves — unless we let love — rather than hate — flow from our heart to touch and heal aand nourish those around us.

Heal us, Lord.

Let us trust in You for you are the Source of all Love,

Your Love is flowing like a river giving life to everything along the eay.

May love flow like a river from our own hearts to every one we meet this day.

Bob Traupman

priest – writer

And here is the entire text of St. Paul’s Ode to Love (I Cor. 13)  Savor each line and see how you measure up. . . .

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.                         And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;                                                                    if I have all faith so as to move mountains                                                                                                                                             but do not have love, I am nothing.                                                                                                                                                             If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast                                                                          but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous,                                                                                                                                     Love is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude,                                                                                                                                                                                                    it does not seek its own interests,                                                                                                                                                               it is not quick-tempered,                                                                                                                                                                               it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             believes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                  hopes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             endures all things.
Love never fails.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;                                                                                                                                               but the greatest of these is love.                                                                                                                                                                                         I Corinthians 13

Love is patient

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Dear Sisters and Brothers,

We’ve been reflecting on St. Paul’s Ode to Love – I Corinthians 13.

We all live with people who get on our nerves

who are annoying, irritating–

an elderly parent who moves too slowly or complains all the time,

a teen who won’t clean up his room,

a neighbor who throws cigarette butts in front of your house,

a guy at the office who keeps talking about sex,

a spouse who won’t communicate,

the guy behind you who honks two seconds after the light changes.

To love someone is to be patient with them.

We often expect the people we live with to be patient with us

but we often don’t return the favor.

Patience with people is a fine quality of love.

It helps us be humble instead of wanting things our way.

Someone once said to me, “Lower your expectations, Bob.”

That’s good advice.

Henri Nouwen, a wonderful Catholic spiritual writer of the past generation spent his last year’s at L’Arche communities attending patiently to little people who couldn’t dress themselves or do other essential things.

He was able to love even those who appeared to be unlovable.  Mother Theresa and her sisters cared in a similar fashion for the poorest of the poor of Calcutta who had little to return.

Being patient with others in our life we’ll oftentimes enable them to change slowly, imperceptibly.

And it changes us too.  It allows to see into the hearts of others  and draw out of them the goodness they may not see in themselves.

All this involves a commitment. — patience.  A willingness to stick it out.

To bloom where we’re planted.

Remember, it’s the sand in the oyster that produces a pearl of great price.

Who in our lives could we be more patient with?

Remember, it’s the irritating sand in the oyster that produces a pearl.

Good and gracious God,

teach us to be patient

as You are patient with us.

Teach us the many facets of love.

Teach us to learn how to love as You love us.

Bob Traupman

priest / writer

Love is kind

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Dear Sisters and Brothers,

Love is patient,

love is kind.

We’re in a series of reflections based on St. Paul’s Ode to Love (I Cor. 13)

This is also about transforming America.

You’ve seen the bumper sticker that says, “Practice random acts of kindness and senseless acts of beauty.

We would transform America inside out if we just were a little more kind to the people we meet each day.

A smile to the store clerk instead of a scowl.

A wave to our neighbor.

A quick phone call or email  to say simply to a friend, “You’re thought of, loved and prayed for.”

A thumbs up sign to the homeless man on the street corner.

My mother was very harsh with me when I was a child.  There was a lot of yelling in my boyhood home.  So parents and brothers and sisters can think about the kindness issue as well.

And then there’s brash rudeness. I get quite upset when someone answers a phone call of mine with a curt email because they don’t want to talk to me.

And then there’s texting.  How much rudeness and downright hurtfulness is spread over the internet?

The more technology we have to communicate with it seems the less we communicate.

And I have had my own inner work to  root out that kind of unkindness, even rudeness, from my own behavior.  There have been times that I was so angry with company greed that I had the store clerk in tears.  It helped me realize I had a lot of improvement to do in this area.  With God’s grace that’s happening.  I have made it a point to transform myself more and more to be kind to everyone even and especially those who are not kind to me. And I examine myself on this at day’s end.

That’s what Paul is getting at:

Let’s just be kind to one another.

It will transform America.

With love,

Bob Traupman

priest / writer

What is Love – part three

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Dear Brothers and Sisters,

We’re in the middle of a series reflecting on “What is Love?”

It’s on our minds these days as we think about our Valentines.

A question for you:

Are you more interested in giving love.

Or do you spend much of your time trying, / plotting / scheming / manipulating to get it?

Let’s spend today thinking about that.

It’s a good question for all of us

in the marriage bed

or with someone you might “hook up” with as many say in our culture today.

Or even if you are a parent.

Many alcoholic parents suck the life out of their children who are in favor one minute and out of favor the next.

You know the phrase, “It’s all about Me”

or the “Me Generation.”

Again, let’s spend today thinking about how we measure up:

Am I more interest in giving love — sharing myself

or getting love?

Maybe we ‘re just looking for a balance here.

Here’s a reprise of St. Paul’s Ode to Love that I posted the other day. . .

If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.                         And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge;                                                                    if I have all faith so as to move mountains                                                                                                                                             but do not have love, I am nothing.                                                                                                                                                             If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast                                                                          but do not have love, I gain nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous,                                                                                                                                     Love is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude,                                                                                                                                                                                                    it does not seek its own interests,                                                                                                                                                               it is not quick-tempered,                                                                                                                                                                               it does not brood over injury,
it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             believes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                  hopes all things,                                                                                                                                                                                             endures all things.
Love never fails.
So faith, hope, love remain, these three;                                                                                                                                               but the greatest of these is love.                                                                                                                                                                                         I Corinthians 13 (NAB)

Dearest Lord,

We all can be selfish at times.

Forgive us, Lord.

Help us become persons always ready to expand our hearts

even to everyone in the world.

Help us to love the way You love, Lord —

Everybody, without exception,

even if they are a pain in the you-know-what!

(ahem) So be it.